This whole journey has been such a lesson in faith and patience and keeping God first in our lives. When we started, we were truly focused on what we wanted. Through prayer and trust in the Lord, it has become about what God wants. There is such a peace that comes with that surrender. And, it is a peace that can't be described until you have it. It has only been in the last 2 years that I have come to know this peace. It doesn't mean that things aren't still hard...but, with God at the center of it all there is a comfort and a peace.
When we started this journey, I had felt for a while that God's plan for us was for adoption. I knew it, but didn't trust it. Then, one morning as I sat in church God made it very clear to me. I was sitting in church and I was praying and thinking about why God had not blessed us with another child. I have always known that I was created to be a mother to more than one child. During this service, a family I had never seen before caught my eye in a pew on the right side of the sanctuary. It was one man about my age and four children, all different races and ages. It was obvious that this was a foster/adoptive family. I have always had such a deep admiration for these families. As I looked at this beautiful family sitting in church, God spoke so clearly to me. He said that I was a mother without another child to love because there a child out there without a mother to love them. I have never seen this family in our church again, but they forever changed our paths. We trust God and we know that He will show us the child that is to be ours.